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As in "security blanket"? He's in the middle of a divorce, and went to find you to find "validation" that someone out there "loved" him. And you fell right into it. Hot/cold, in/out, the whole. Honestly, I doubt he "loves" you, except as a memory of something that made him feel manly or desired. Having a woman drop everything for you is heady stuff it's also scary. The fact that you dumped an ex-fiance' means that you, too, were at a particularly vulnerable stage, and needed some validation. And hey, presto! There he was, your "first -", magiy come to soothe your hurt and fury over your ex. Frankly, I think you should tell BOTH of them to get the hell out of your life and then you should move on. They both sound like a broken heart waiting to happen. And you sound like far too naive to be let loose without a babysitter. And I just say: At age 40, the kind of who is going to "wait for marriage" before having sex is either someone who is not highly sexed in the first place, or someone for whom sex is so far down the list that it would make for a very sterile marriage. That also play along with your inclinations with regards to sex, for all I know, but please know that the vast majority of men and women feel that the physical expression of their within a committed, monogamous relationship is not "sinful". At 40, it's not "wrong on so levels" to want to be intimate with a that you. What IS wrong for your own emotional health, in my book, is being intimate with a without a reciprocal degree of commitment. Frankly, sleeping in each other's arms is hardly the stuff that scandal is made of. Yes, move on and piece your live back together. A who is separated and going through a divorce and is also seeing a psychiatrist is not term relationship material. My general "rule" on divorced men is leave 'em alone for at least a year after the divorce is final it takes most people that to get their head back on straight after the upheaval of a divorce. And frankly, it sounds like you could use a few counseling sessions, yourself, to figure out why you keep attracting losers. 
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